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Miss Princess and the case of the brown paper bag

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Miss Princess has been a little “challenging” of late. Or should I say a little more “challenging” than usual.

It seems that her usual temper tantrums and cranky moods have, well, cranked up a notch or seven. I thought that as she closed in on turning four things might settle down a little. I was oh so VERY wrong.

For the record we’ve no idea where this hot temper comes from, she can’t blame it on a horrid babyhood.

This child hung out in a sling until she was 14 months old, co-slept from birth until she slept through at two and a half and was breastfed to the age of three. Nothing to complain about there.

We’re blaming a genetic throwback…though I do suspect it’s more a genetic combination issue.

It’s cranky pants central at Oopsiemumma headquarters on Monday’s when big brother gets to go to school but she doesn’t. And all hell breaks loose after her Monday mid-morning gymnastics lesson because she doesn’t want to leave.

And Friday’s…well let me just say that every second Friday when kindy isn’t on, I start reaching for the wine bottle before 2pm. Totally acceptable to do that on a Friday I believe.

The meltdowns and tantrums reached fever pitch today, by the time I got home from school pick-up I was ready to run away from home.

So Mr Fix-It stepped in. I’m not sure whether it was to save my sanity or to save Miss Princess from me, but either way it worked.

He taught her to breathe.

Five deep breaths every time she got angry.

And it worked.

By the time bedtime rolled around she was deep breathing so much that I thought I’d need to get her a brown paper bag. I actually thought she was going to hyperventilate.

Let’s hope for some more deep breathing in the morning when she realises it’s the weekend and kindy still isn’t on!

Do you have a temper tantrum calming technique?

Oopsiemumma xo

Miss Princess is a tantrum champion with a LARGE repertoire!

Here in the Oopsiemumma Household we like to do things a little differently and defy the odds. So, instead of our munchkins going through the Terrible Two’s, they decided to sail through two and then turn it on when they turned three.

I’m calling it the “Threatening Three’s.” This is the age in Oopsiemumma land that threatens my sanity, my patience, my resilience and my ability to not throw a tantrum myself.

I have to give it to Master Sporty, he wasn’t very good at the whole throw a tantrum thing, he clearly didn’t get given the toddler handbook. His idea of a tantrum was to take himself to his room and either read a book or throw himself on his bed and lay there…what a monster he was! If monster’s like to read books and lay still……

Miss Princess, on the other hand, has us cracking open all the parenting help books known to mankind. The one I’m about to crack open this week is the “Strong-willed child”. I think the title should be more along the lines of “How not to lose it in public when dealing with a strong-willed child.” Now THAT would be much more helpful.

But all these tantrums and shenanigans that Miss Princess carries on with have made me realise that not only did Master Sporty fail on the tantrum front, but there are a whole host of tantrums I never realised existed. Here are some of Miss Princess’s favourites:-

  • “Screaming vomiter” – this one is awesome and yet quite simple. You scream and scream and scream and scream until you start projectile vomiting EVERYWHERE. Then you stop…and then you scream some more.
  • “Urinator” – when mummy and daddy refuse to give in then you stand still and defiantly wee all down your legs, regardless of where you are. Little tip though, it’s much more effective inside than outside the house, and particularly fun in shopping centres.
  • “Neverending Story” – this is where the tantrum n.e.v.e.r seems to end. Coupled with the “Public performer” and the “Floor writher” it can be quite an awesome event to watch.
  • “Floor writher” – most effective in shopping centres where it’s harder for mummy and daddy to bend down and pick you up without showing their underwear (mummy needs to learn not to wear tight jeans to shopping centres).
  • “Sibling slammer” – want a quick reaction from mummy and daddy? The most effective technique is while throwing a tantrum you kick, hit, pinch, bite or jump on your sibling…then watch how quickly you get a reaction. Quite a good one!
  • “Wall smacker” – this one is quite self-explanatory though will cause some pain if mum and dad take the attitude that ‘she’ll stop it when it hurts’. Ouch.
  • “Car seat kicker” – guaranteed to get mummy cranky when feeling like some attention. Just kick, kick, kick and kick until she threatens to take away your dolls. Then it’s probably a good idea to stop and start on the “sibling slammer” for fun.
  • “Toy tosser” – particularly effective when in the car. Bonus points if you actually hit mummy in the head.
  • “Lounge collapser” – save this one for when you’re too tired to actually throw a tantrum. Just throw yourself on the lounge and cry. Usually causes more giggles than sympathy from the grown-ups.
  • “Door slammer” – couple this with a well-timed scream and mummy and daddy come running thinking your fingers are toast.
  • “Public performer” – still working on this one because mummy tends to walk off and pretend she doesn’t know me. But when done with the “Urinator” or the “Screaming Vomiter” she has no choice but to come and get me 🙂

It’s no wonder I’m exhausted most days when I have to deal with at least one or two from the above list. And I may or may not be counting down until Miss Princess trundles off to kindergarten next year, where for two days of the week the above list is NOT MY PROBLEM.

No doubt thought that she’ll be an angelic angel at kindy…

Do you have any tantrum’s to add? If so, then I can assure you that your little one and Miss Princess will never meet, she has a large enough repertoire all on her own.

Oopsiemumma xo

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